Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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