Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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