I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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