Tell her she can't have a vagina
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize