I will die if light touches me.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
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only you would photoshop your dick
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
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You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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