Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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