i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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