oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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