Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize