she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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