the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
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boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
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Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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