I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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