the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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