You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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