She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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