You smell like stripper and shame
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize