My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
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She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
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I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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