YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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