i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
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He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize