I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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