R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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