Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize