There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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