he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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