I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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