i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize