you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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