u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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