How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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