when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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