Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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