ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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