apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
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Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
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Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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