I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Randomize