dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
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