I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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