I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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