Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize