I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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