Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be right there i have to get my cape
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize