a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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