are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So many bounce houses so little time
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
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Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
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You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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