PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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