Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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