She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i came on her dog
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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