thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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