in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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