i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
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You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
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I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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