let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize