Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You're so nebulous sometimes
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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